If you’ve been in marketing for any amount of time and include networking as one of your tools, you know about the elevator pitch. Maybe you’re new to networking and just becoming acquainted what makes a the elevator pitch an essential. And if you’re an introvert let’s be clear: you can plan a party better than these elevator pitches. In the past several months I’ve collected a few of my favorites as best examples of what not to say. Really, if this is your elevator pitch, do yourself a favor: stay home instead of attending the event. You may read these and you find you scratch your head, chuckle or just wonder about these real, honest-to-goodness examples. The names have been changed to protect, me.
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#1 – Hi. Happy Holidays. I hope you are all enjoying this time of year. My name is John Gist, I’m with Honest Insurance Agency and we can provide you with any kind of insurance you need. Happy Holidays.
#2 – My name is Gerry Anderson with Franklin and Company. There are eight of us here today and I’m going to let Tina tell you what we do.
#3 – Yes; I’m Tina and we are an attorney handling all of your legal needs. Thank you. (sitting down and then suddenly popping back up) And we specialize in estate planning. (sits down, finally.)
#4 – My name is Kelly Michaels. As marketing director for All Kinds of Software, we help save small business money. I also do pet sitting so call me if you have a cat. (you thought it was going to be a good one?)
#5 – Oh. What? Um. I’m Sandy Prince. Um. With Colorful Photo Prints. We color with the rainbow. If you have, um, well, a photo you want matted. We do that. And, oh, what is it? If you have a black and white photo, we can do. Oh. I forget. But we can do something with it. Juts call me. Sandy. We color with the rainbow. (Somewhere over the rainbow – go!)
And my most recent favorite:
#6 – Hi, my name is Leslie Lindy. I’m with Everywhere Travel Agency. We’ve been serving the area for more than 20 years. (goes on to tell you everything they know about the travel industry, talks about 2 minutes instead of the group’s 60 seconds, uses ums and ahs as if they were salt and pepper, and finally invites you to visit their new offices.)
Now really. As a card carrying INTJ, I’m insulted by some of these for wasting my thinking time. It’s difficult enough to get out and network as an introvert. Then to go through such torture. I mean what if these were said all in one meeting?
Can you tell me there is any one of these folks who you want to continue in a conversation with after the meeting is over? Really, whatever model these follow, the pitches should – only be said in an elevator without anyone around. Or, said just for comic relief. Honest to goodness people: get your elevator headed in the right direction or don’t get in it at all.
What’s one of the most hilarious elevator pitches you’ve ever heard?
9 users commented in " 6 Most Pitiful and Hilarious Elevator Pitches Ever Heard "
Follow-up comment rss or Leave a TrackbackHi Pat – sometimes listening to unproductive elevator pitches can be cringe-worthy. I think the biggest problem is the lack of focus and concentration it takes to prepare an elevator pitch. I’ve had people tell me that they don’t actually consider the fact that they need a high impact one until they’re actually sitting in a meeting and asked to give one, and they end up just winging it. It’s too bad when that happens, because having an opportunity to address a whole crowd rather than relying on just one to one connections is a great thing – it’s always disappointing when there’s no effort behind that opportunity.
Good points, Pat!
What incredible feedback Barbara – that people don’t focus on communicating what they do and for whom until face to face! That winging it when networking is wasted time and might even be negatively affecting getting to a next step. Thanks for your comment.
OK, so you are a card-carrying INTJ. I want to see that card because I did not get one.
My elevator pitch needs improvement and Barbara is correct it does take some work.
“Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.” Ralph Waldo Emerson #quote
Many times we get busy and fail to manage our choices and important items like an elevator pitch gets overshadowed by less important projects.
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Jim, sometimes the card will say, ENTJ. Particularly for those of us who have learning the extroverting skills to get along in this world.
Daniel, thanks for the succinct elevator pitch. I particularly like your call to action at the end.
Thank You Pat
I was hoping that some of the “Elevator Pitch” coaches would also comment on this blog post.
Hi Daniel – I chimed in at the very top, but you might have missed me.
Nice job with your pitch – my biggest advice would be to LEAD with the pain point that you solve for people. And I’d love to see you include your tag line within your pitch, it’s great!
Thank You Barbara
You are Awesome!
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